Paddy's Day An Irish Listicle of Error

Paddy's Day Listicle:
  1. Paddy's Day is on 17 March, the supposed date of Saint Patrick's death
  2. It's Paddy, never Patty (ugh!)
  3. Crisps not chips, Tayto or bust, the rest are mere potato dust.
  4. Shamrock has three leaves- never a clover four! Shamrock is Trinitarian: Un, dos, tres! Father, Son & Holy Ghost, the Green, White & Gold of the Tricolor. Got it, good.
  5. Bacon 'n Cabbage if ye can, Corned beef 'n' cabbage will definitely do. Lower East side NY style is grand but "have ye got any Brown sauce?"
  6. Keep your heart green too - let it stay big & soft, don't let Irish compassion for the little ones calcify like it seems to have with various Hannity, O'Reilly & Ryan's into a stiff necked, hard-hearted corporate Minotaur of a different color.
  7. "What is the craic?" - the crack is high spirited fun and a felt 'esprit de human corps' about making the most of life and a night out.  eg "The craic was mighty"
  8.  Swearing of the Green - Just sticking on a bit of the green and crying crocodile tears over your forebears into a brown liquor isn't enough to qualify. Let us without recourse to scary spirits of hangovers past learn to be like the changed 'Scrooge' and keep Paddy's day well too.
  9. A twit-mhic (an e-amadan?) green to the last 'deoch' (drink). I have seen a few Twitter fight challenges issued because this once-a-year testosterbone Patty-cake insists the number of leaves on a shamrock is ... four! ... hmm. He says his mother's mother was from Cork. Everyone who doesn't know (or care) where their mother's mother was from says - "I think she was from Cork." Actually she likely sailed from Cobh/Queenstown, Cork so maybe that's part right.
  10. Luck of the Irish? Yeah, I suppose if having Sir Hoorah Wally's hunting boots on your neck for a 1000 years with a good bit of famine, death and exile is lucky, then yeah, sure "Begorrah it is great luck altogether."
  11. Barry's Tea - nothing else will do. Irish tae is a 'sacrament' refused at first but then given into. With a biscuit playing the part of the host it becomes a Eucharist of sorts, with the call and response as invocation.

    - "sure ye will... ahh I can't... sure go on, have a drop... I just called in, I won't be stayin'... just a wee cup to wet your lips before ye go... oh allright, go on" 
  12. Irish Eyes are Smiling - they are indeed. Sorry about how this listicle darkened up there - it was really meant to be more bubbles.

    Like another Irishman sorta said -

    Nevermind the Bullet list,
    - here's Paddy's day!


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